Do you set goals? Establish deadlines?
Do you meet those deadlines and achieve those goals? Well, if so, congratulate yourself! Doesn't it feel absolutely incredibly amazing to realize those accomplishments? Earlier this week, I accomplished one very BIG goal. It was massive. It was stupendous. It was, without doubt, monumental. After six years of writing, revising and editing the manuscript for my memoir (not to mention the emotional roller coaster that came along with the writing process), I completed Draft #4 (yes, number FOUR!). Back in 2017, I wrote the first draft in eight months, which triggered a complete emotional breakdown. Writing helped me work through what I needed to work through and brought me back out into sunshine. It then took four years to complete Draft #2. For months at a time, I couldn't write a single word. Emotions were either too raw or too overwhelming. About this time last year, in December 2022, right before Christmas, I finished that particular rendition of the draft. At the beginning of 2023, in a burst of motivation and focus, I polished off Draft #3 in six weeks. A selection of girlfriends volunteered to be my Beta readers and offered feedback and insight that I incorporated into the writing of Draft #4. I have written one heck of a lot of words over the past six years! What makes me feel most proud with the completion of Draft #4 is the state of my emotional health. After tearing apart everything I thought and felt throughout my marriage, and looking at those emotions from every possible angle, and crying a lot of tears and getting really angry, I made peace in the end. With myself, with the man I married, and with the marriage itself. Today, after typing out thousands and thousands (and thousands) of words on the keyboard, I feel completely healed. Let me tell you, that is no small feat! I also feel completely exhausted and emotionally numb at the moment. I poured my heart and my soul into those digital pages and fully admit that my tank feels pretty empty right now. But I know this state is temporary, and I will regain back my joie de vivre! I just have to take the time to replenish myself by doing things that make me feel good (like going for long walks in nature and taking photos of what I see). So, what's next? Well, Draft #4 was emailed to two different publishers who both voiced keen interest in my story. It is now in their hands to read, review and decide if my ground-breaking memoir is something they would like to get out into the world. I'm optimistic that a book contract will come out of this (which means, for certain, more editing and re-writing). For now, however, it is a wait-and-see kind of game while they take the time to read through my 104,000 words! My new goal for the memoir is to have it published before I turn 60. That gives me a year and a half to make this next dream come true! So please set goals for yourself, and then do everything possible to turn those goals into accomplishments. 'Cuz it's one heck of a feeling when you do!
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Well, Friday was a first for me. After connecting with the Kelowna Women's Shelter earlier this spring about their upcoming Daisy Story Art Project, and submitting a written piece to be included in that event, the ladies at this highly reputable organization very kindly invited me to say a few words at the opening ceremonies of their newest shelter and transition housing complex in West Kelowna. In front of a gathering of 80 or so people, I publicly described myself as a survivor of domestic abuse. It's the first time I ever made such a statement out loud, in a public setting. Needless to say, a variety of emotions and memories ran through me. The beauty of taking the time to heal over the past nine years (yes, nine!) was that I let myself feel and recall what I needed to feel and recall in the moment and then, after enjoying a latté at a sunny café and a couple of hours on the couch once I returned home, I re-grouped and felt fine again. The new shelter and transition house in West Kelowna is magnificent. It is a nurturing and comforting environment where women and mothers with children will lay the foundation for their futures and take the first steps into their new lives. I wish every single one of those women a magnificent and grand life from this moment on. This morning, I enjoy the lovely scented flowers from the Thank You bouquet given to me yesterday. Perhaps my new career as a public speaker has begun. Back to work on the book! Here are the words I spoke to a highly supportive gathering: Good Morning.
My name is Deborah, and I am a survivor of domestic abuse. I am honoured to be here to congratulate and applaud the Kelowna Women's Shelter on the opening of their second crisis shelter in the Kelowna region and the creation of this amazingly immense transition housing complex. I know, from personal experience, how critical it is for women and mothers with children, to have a safe and secure place to go when they are leaving, fleeing, escaping from abusive relationships. I have no doubt that, after meeting the amazing ladies who run this organization, the women and children who walk through these doors will be greeting with kindness, compassion, support and humanity. This is a critical juncture for these women. It is here they will build a foundation for their future and take the first steps into their new lives. On behalf of the women and children you will help ... Thank you. April 17, 2022 One month today, I’ll turn 57 years old. The change of age, I feel, won’t be the only element of change in my life. Bringing in a nautical reference, or Mary Poppins, it’s a safe bet to say there is change comin’ in the wind. The predictable change of geography for this time of year is fast approaching. I soon will be packing up my Jeep and heading back to the Rockies for my annual work-related summer migration (it’s such a hard life!). Even more change, however, is heading my way after the summer. And, deep down, it is necessary and welcome. Independent of the annual commute, I’ve admittedly been in a slump these past few years. Too much predictability existed, day in and day out. I’m tired of predictability. It’s uninspiring and causes me to spend way too much time inside my own four walls, being utterly unproductive. Dare I say, life has become (and I detest this word) … mediocre? My life needs shaking up. It needs some ‘newness’. It needs to have the cobwebs blown out and room made to let the sunshine back in. A plan is already in place. After this summer, I am temporarily relocating to another town for the winter and spring (same province; different region). I need new territory, new excitement, new invigoration. I need to get out of my predictable four walls and the town where those walls are located. Newness is the theme (some might call it a good old-fashioned kick in the butt!). With aging parents, I have the perfect excuse to transplant myself to another part of the province (I’m going to where they live). I am, after all, only 56 years old. It’s never too late to put back into life the enthusiasm and sparkle so obvious in younger years. I’m not too old for change. If, according to Einstein, the only thing that’s constant in life is change, then I’m long overdue for new directions and new inspiration. Bring it on, I say! Let’s put that sparkle back in my life by living in a new town with all its new experiences. Apart from the 7 years spent sailing the Pacific Ocean, I’ve been in the same coastal BC town since 1994. A change of address will do me wonders. The past couple of days I’ve been with my parents, in this ‘new-to-me’ town. I’m seeing everything differently, from the perspective of a resident rather than a visitor. I’ve met my new landlords, checked out the local rec centre, poured over city maps to find out where trails and parks are located. I’ve discovered that in addition to the highly reputable regional symphony and community theatre, there is also a city ballet company! It’s gonna be so much fun checking out all of this! All with my parents and a high-school girlfriend in the neighbourhood, too. I’m excited for this change. Perhaps even a wee bit giddy with anticipation! Wish me luck. I wish you luck, as well, for whatever change the wind is bringing your way this year. May it feed your soul and provide plenty of laughter. |
AuthorLife comes into focus when hiking on a trail. Nature always provides the answer. Archives
May 2024
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